i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
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