He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Congratulations! We have a period
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
