so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
