You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
