I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize