So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
