If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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