I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
