just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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