Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
