remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
