well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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