I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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