You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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