loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
