Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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