Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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