I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize