You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
