How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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