yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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