I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
