I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
