Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you win again, gameday.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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