Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
