I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
