okay pat passed out under dana's car
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
