:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
