The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
