i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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