and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
