last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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