East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
did you just send me my own nude
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
