I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
