I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
