Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
