The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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