I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
