Yo dont text me then not text me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
