The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
