There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
