But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
as a side note pls kill me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
