Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like the before picture.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize