DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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