So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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