unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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