If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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