she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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