I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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