well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
