Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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