well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
