Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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