i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
