tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
