remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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