My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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