I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
