dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
